Shokumotsu ga Tsuranaru Sekai

From <The Second Archive>, I have established a connection between <what could be called consciousness> and the second horizon...
The <data> is old and has gone through some degradation, so I will apply my own deductions where necessary to form a complete picture. [She] came close to death due to certain circumstances. It can be inferred that her child’s <death> led her to that situation. Eventually, she would breathe her last in the morning’s rays, held within the arms of her beloved...
The <factor> that was predicted to change the outcome of this tragedy - I attempted a [denial] of [her] ad921d60486366258809553a3db49a4a.
Well then. Is the cat within the box alive, or is it dead? Let us take a peek inside the cage...

Where does the life begin and fade away?
The unknown lady who is staring at Thanatos.
She is the Nein.

A World Connected through Food

Now that I think about it...I had a smaller appetite...
Than most people...ever since I was a child...

I just can’t handle the texture and smell of meat
(“Urgh, what’s wrong with her? Hey, she threw up!”)
So I threw up, and was often bullied for that...
( “How nasty!” “Go away!”)

(“It’s okay.”)

But there was a <girl>[person] who would always help me out

(“Oh look, she’s here! Everybody’s favorite ‘good girl’!” “What a good girl!” “Don’t mind them.” )
She had a wonderful smile, gentle like the moon
(“‘It’s okay’, she says! Hahahahaha!” “Cut it out, you guys!” “Is that all you have to say?”)
And I thought that she’d be my <life’s precious treasure>[dear friend]...
(“Shut up, all of you!”
“How wonderful..”)

Now that I think about it...my body developed faster...
Than most people...ever since I hit puberty...

“You’re dumb but you’ve got them tits, and you eat nothing but <greens>[grass]. What are you, a cow?”
They would often make fun of me...
(“Let’s hear it from you! Mooo- mooo-!”)

(“Cut it out, you guys.”)

But there was a <boy>[person] who would sometimes help me out
(“What now, don’t tell me you like that cow?” “For reals?!” “Ewwww!” “So that’s why you’re so nice to her!”)

And she, with the wonderful smile, gentle like the moon
(“What do they mean?” “It’s okay, don’t listen to them.” “Oh look, he’s like a prince charming!”)
Scrunched up her face and said to me...
(”Let’s tell everyone about this!” “But he’s my prince charming...” “Hey...stop it!”)

“...you’re such a pain!”

“ ‘Oh look, she’s helping out that stupid child, what an angel she is!’ -
That’s supposed to be your only purpose - to make me look good...
So can you stop using that <stupidly curvy body of yours> to seduce <my beloved>[him], you ugly bitch?
Don’t think too much and get carried away!”

“Just what is this <woman>[person] yapping about?”

Oh...what a deceitful, sickening world
Stars sneer in the shadows of a spreading night....

The first food which she became unable to consume was the odorous tender veal.
It was the only meat she felt delicious.

After that...I lost all faith in humanity...
And closed off my heart....and lived on...
In a world of my own...never letting anyone close...never letting anything in-

But....I met <a gentle person who worked a long time at a children-related charity organization, the same man who would go on to become my life’s partner>[him]
And after spending several seasons together
I was finally able to think
That true love exists, and so does fate!

And-

I’ll never forget the morning light after we first became one
I embraced you and held you, and swore to live on with you
Just the two of us - no, the three of us, including <the treasure in my belly>[my child]

Let us live on in <happiness>[light]!

Unhappiness is the neighbor of happiness
It surely lives next to all families.

Not everything went my way
But some good things happened! -
Or so I thought in the past...
But in the end....nothing good ever comes out of life...

My long-awaited child...

Suffered from a fatal disorder...
Surrounded by white walls and not even turning slightly...
My child died, tied up in <cold tubes> like chains...

Born into this rotting world to gather stardust
You never wished for your birth? And never knew the joy of <life>?
In the end, was that child happy?

I’m sorry

Oh...what a powerless, hopeless world
But the <signals from my peripheral nervous system’s vegetative functions>[voices of my body] begin to lie

Turning their backs to this Ninth Reality[light], they illuminate even the abyss of <despair>[darkness]

What a superficially beautiful, yet sickening world
Stars dance in the shadows of a rotting night...

After that, she became unable to eat seafood, eggs, dairy products, fruits and even vegetables finally.

Accompanying the denial...of attachment to food...is an increased disgust..towards life...
The glittering dust of stars fall upon a window sill, embracing sin...and a nighthawk flies...

At that time, my wife repeated the meaning of the <story of hardship>[life] she lived through,
(Ah....I have lived....ah....I have lived....)
As if to <deny the elements of sadness that compose her>[lie to herself],
(Ah...I have lived....ah....I have lived...)

Over and over again...

Ah...after seeing your weakening body and psyche
I did not drag you back to this reality
Not because of kindness, but due to <something else> disguised as kindness
But even then, I simply...wished for you to smile until the very end...

<A World Connected through Food>

The bug<insect> that eats grass<plant> is swallowed by the frog<amphibian>
And the frog itself is devoured by the snake<reptile>, who in turn is snatched up by the bird<avian>
The hawk<bird of prey> swoops in to take its prey, and freely soars off into the skies
A gunshot in the distance and it falls; but even the humans<primates> who struck it down
Will eventually die and return to dust
There are no victors in this pyramid, woven from chains that connect them

That’s what I realized... almost by accident... while basking in the <bright sunlight streaming through the tree leaves>[light]!

<Something built upon another’s death>[Life] springs up
Within the <fresh greenery>[clump of trees]
I heard <sounds> of <the proof that my child lived>[wheel tracks] going round and round
You were...here!? You were...laughing!!!

(“I am living, and I am being kept alive.
I’ll eat lots and lots from now on; I won’t put my life to waste.
If life and death come full circle, then I simply have to give birth to you, over and over again...”)

(“Hey there!”
“Darling...”
“You’re looking pretty healthy today.”
“Oh, really?”)

Translated by Defade.